Harsh Realities - Wedding Dress
by Sylentia Levin
Summary: The shadow player had never bothered to lay eyes on another girl since. Not because he truly fully loved her; no, that only happened in sappy romance movies. No, he stayed with her because she understood him, and, most of all; could accept his half-hearted love for her. AoKuro.


**Wedding Dress**

by

Sylentia Levin

White.

It was the first thing that sprung up into Kuroko's mind as he entered the beautifully decorated church; frozen on the aisle as he looked around in amazement. Pink flower bouquets were tied in blue ribbons and hung in every corner of the church, some decorating the benches draped with white, giving it a simple, peaceful, but beautiful accent.

Today was a very important day for a member of Kiseki no Sedai, and Kuroko Tetsuya had finally managed to gather up all of his courage to attend at this very special day, his ex-lover's wedding, a decision that wasn't very easy to make. He could already recognize the familiar pain as his chest strained, making it slightly hard for him to breathe; his heart was on the brink of breaking again.

"Tetsu-kun?" a soft voice chimed up beside him, "Are you okay?"

"Eh?" Kuroko blinked, "Ah, hai, I'm alright," he nodded as he tugged on the small hand holding his as to not bother the young woman any longer, looking right into those soft brown eyes. He could read anxiety and worry in the innocent eyes, knowing that the blonde did not believe his quiet statement.

"Are you sure? We could go home now if you'd like.." she offered, but Kuroko shook his head.

"No, your brother will be looking for you later," he stated, forcing a small, barely-there smile on his usually stoic face, and the girl beside him forced a smile on her beautiful face.

"Alright then," she sighed dejectedly, "Let's find seats, ne?"

With an approving nod, Kuroko allowed her to pull him over to an empty spot at the back of the row. The church was getting crowded and Kuroko could see the lucky guy, the groom, standing proudly and happily in his white suit at the altar, grinning from ear to ear. Kuroko wondered when he'll be able to feel that happy.

No, he was wondering whether he'll be looking that happy at his own wedding.

"Tetsu-kun…" the young woman beside him mumbled again, her voice laced with pure worry, and once again Kuroko smiled, and put his hand atop of hers, telling her it's alright, turning to see her. Even though a hesitant smile was gracing her child-like face, her honest eyes clearly showed guilt, anxiety, discomfort and worry, her teeth nervously biting her glossy lips. She looked beautiful - no, she _is _beautiful, as expected from her bloodline - and Kuroko silently wonders what in the world is so wrong with him that he'd have the heart to hurt such a beautiful and honest girl.

"Saya-chan," he called softly, earning her gaze as a reply, "This is my decision. I will be fine," and the girl nodded, holding his hand a bit tighter as she turned her gaze back to the altar, not noticing the soft, hurt gaze that Kuroko was still aiming at her.

He felt guilty.

Kise Sayako, the little sister of his junior high basketball teammate Kise Ryouta, has now been his long-term girlfriend for four years, and they have been dating ever since Kuroko graduated high school. He didn't know what came over him when he decided to accept her confession; he didn't even know why Kise had sicked his sister on him, or why Saya even liked him, but it has simply happened and the shadow player had never bothered to lay eyes on another girl since.

Not because he truly fully loved her; no, that only happened in sappy romance movies.

No, he stayed with her because she understood him, knew all his secrets, could read through his poker face and, most of all; could accept his half-hearted love for her, without giving him any less of her own.

"Oh the music has started!"

"Really? Then where is—Oh, there she is!"

"Oh she looks so beautiful!"

"Ah, I wish I were that pretty.."

The murmurs were quite clear enough to hear, and sure enough, as the organ played the traditional wedding tune, Kuroko spotted white walking past him. Looking to his right, Kuroko's blue eyes suddenly met with Momoi's pink, happy ones, her smile getting wider as she recognized her bestest friend on her wedding day, and mouthed a "thank you" at him before walking on up the aisle, her hand hooked onto her father's elbow, the gorgeous white wedding dress flowing behind her, accenting her pink hair and curvy body.

Kuroko then felt the blonde beside him clenching her grip on his hand, and only then he had realized that he had been clutching her hand as if it were his lifeline. _What's wrong with me…_ he thought, inwardly slapping himself. Giving her an apologetic look, Kuroko loosened his grip and turned his attention back to the altar, where Momoi was now standing face to face with her groom, both beaming happily and nervously before grabbing each other's hands as the vows started.

* * *

_"We're.. We're officially dating now."_

_"Oh," was Kuroko's emotionless, poker face reply, and the Cancer slowly turned his gaze away. Kuroko did expect this, he knew that this day would come; he just hadn't hoped for it to happen so soon. His lover shifted uncomfortably in the seat before him._

_"Sorry.." Kuroko heard his now-ex mumble, but he decided to ignore it. An apology was simply not going to cut it, but then again, what could Kuroko do? It was doomed to fail from the start._

_". . .Wh- Ahem.." Kuroko almost choked on his own words, but he knew he had to hold in his emotions and keep this mask on. It was the only way he could maintain his sanity, "What should I do now, then?"_

_The reply stung like poison._

_"Look for someone else.. We both knew from the start this wouldn't work."_

_Now Kuroko was trying his best to hold back his tears._

_How could—It sounded so easy, to look for someone else. How could Kuroko force his heart to forget a person he fully loved? A person he loved so much that he had even rejected Kagami Taiga for. This was their graduation day. All of Kiseki no Sedai had graduated college with outstanding grades and way improved skills, and tomorrow was supposed to be their anniversary.._

_Both of Kiseki no Sedai's and their relationship._

_". . . . . "_

_"I'm really sorry.. Tets-"_

_"Is it real love? More than ours?" Kuroko mumbled, still keeping his gaze away, not caring as if he had just cut off his lover in the middle of a sentence. _

_"I.. I honestly don't know."_

_". . . . . ."_

_"I'm sorry…"_

* * *

"And do you, Momoi Satsuki, take this person as your beloved husband until death do you part?"

"I do," the pink beauty replied with a huge, happy smile, and Kuroko took in their happy faces as the two leaned in for a kiss, the groom grinning smugly as he pulled back. The two looked happy, and the crowd clapped as the two walked off the aisle. The couple was heading out of the church into the open air, where the garden party was already settled. The crowd was slowly dissipating as they followed out the now-husband-and-wife out into the garden, but Kuroko didn't seem to notice.

His gaze was still aimed at front, where the bride and groom had kissed, where the two had looked so happy, where Momoi had even added an extra hug after the kiss because she had felt so excitedly happy.

It hurt.

For Kuroko it hurt.

He wanted to scream, yell out, run to the front and stop this, he wanted to run over and cry, cry and beg and kneel on the floor so to make a racket and cancel the marriage... But he couldn't. It was unlike him, it was inappropriate, and most of all, it would make Sayako sad. It was the most illogical and out-of-character thing he had ever wanted to do; but then again, love makes you do the most ridiculous things.

_The most ridiculous, _ridiculous,_ things…_

"Yo, Kurochin."

"Eh?"

_I know that voice, _Kuroko thought, and turned to find himself staring at the black fabric of a neat shirt and white, unbuttoned tuxedo. Looking up, he confirmed his suspicions to be true as he spotted the long purple lock, the usual messy bangs now tied neatly to the back. The tall center player was apparently chewing on a bubblegum, occasionally blowing and popping a bubble, his usual pack of baggage of candy nowhere to be found.

"Ohayo, Muras—"

"Kurokocchiiiiiii~~"

And before Kuroko could even properly greet nor get his eyes off of Murasakibara Atsushi, the shadow player could feel those familiar arms glomping him in a tight, loving hug, nearly suffocating him as his vision was blocked with blonde locks that smelt sweetly fresh like lemons and expensive cologne.

"I missed you! How is everything? I thought you wouldn't show up today!" the blonde immediately bombarded him with question, making Kuroko slightly flinch. The blonde has always had a tendency to fall into Kuroko's cuteness overload and it has always annoyed the blue-haired shadow.

"Ryouta, behave. You're not a five year old," another voice piped up from behind, Kuroko could noticed their captain, Akashi Seijuurou, walking up towards them. Both of them were wearing black tuxedos and white shirts and looked quite appealing.

"I am not suffocating him!" Kise denied, pouting, and turned back to Kuroko, pinching the shorter one's cheeks, "Don't think so much about it, alright? You'll get over it eventually," Kise adviced with a huge smile, and Kuroko merely nodded.

"This is a huge day for all of us, Kurochin. Smile, alright?"

"Eventhough not for _all_ of Kiseki no Sedai since not all of us are here, and-" Kise mumbled, referring to the absence of a member, but Murasakibara suddenly thumped him on the head.

"Ow Muracchi! What was that for?" Kise yelped, rubbing his head, and it resulted into a poke from Akashi; the red captain poked Kise's side with a pair of scissors and it made Kise yelp again.

"I told him to."

"Wha? Akashicchi is -" But before he could finish his sentence, Akashi shot him a stern look.

"Ryouta," Akashi said sternly, giving him a clear curt warning, before turning his attention to Kuroko, "Let's go. Satsuki must be waiting for us," and he turned around, leading the way. Murasakibara followed suit. Kise was still standing there, busy with the bump on his head. When Kise finally decided that rubbing it just won't make it any better, he finally turned to Kuroko and smiled gently.

"Kurokocchi. Ne. Don't be sad, okay?" Kise smiled gently, his cheerful attitude now replaced with a calm and matured aura, leaning forward to hug the shadow, apparently knowing the trouble Kuroko's feelings were going through, "You've got to take care of Saya now," and he ruffled up Kuroko's hair.

"Oniichan!" Saya snapped, finally speaking up from behind Kuroko, "Don't be so heartless!"

No, Kise wasn't being heartless. Kise was right.

Kuroko had Saya to take care of now, and that was exactly what he was going to do. He didn't come here to feel sad; he came here to look for closure. He had to let go of his past or else he'd never be able to move on from his first and last true love. He had to find a way to put it all in the past..

"Come on Kurokocchi," Kise smiled, snapping the blunette out of his thoughts.

Kuroko nodded. He took Sayako's hand and walked out with the two of them into the garden. The garden behind the church was beautiful and wide; there was enough space for benches, the buffet, the table with the huge cake, the ice-sculpture and standing decorations; they had even managed to decorate the trees!

It was truly a beautiful sight to behold, even Saya had sighed in awe beside him, but it somehow made Kuroko even sadder.

_Why couldn't it be me…_

"Saya-chan, will you go ahead? I think I have to go to the bathroom," Kuroko mumbled, and his girlfriend gave him an odd look. He knew that she knew that something was wrong; but, the young woman simply nodded and left him after giving him a gentle smile. Kuroko watched as she walked towards her big brother and joined in with the other Kiseki no Sedai members.

He sometimes wondered why she hadn't become tired of him; after all, he was boring, quiet and above all, a mere shadow. Kuroko knew he should be grateful to have her, but his heart simply yearned for someone else. As he watched Saya walk off to his junior high friends, Kuroko turned around and walked away to a secluded part of the garden, near the church's entrance, and simply stood there, lost in his own thoughts.

It was true.

He did know from the start that it wouldn't work out. They were star-crossed lovers and Kuroko had to accept that.

_Momoi looks so beautiful in white…_

_So _happy_._

Will he ever be able to make Saya as happy as Momoi is now? Will Saya's face ever light up so bright, will she ever beam like that on her own marriage? Will he ever be able to truly love her? Why did everything turn out this way? Why can't Kuroko be good enough?! Why—

"Tetsu."

A voice spoke up from behind him, and Kuroko's eyes suddenly widened.

He knew that voice. It was the same voice that used to call him loving names, the voice that used to tease him, the soothing voice that knew how to coax him into doing anything. It was the voice that made him hate basketball all over again, for the second time.

"Tetsu?"

_No.._

_No, this isn't fair._

_Why.._

"Tetsu. Please don't ignore me," the voice started to beg, and for the first time in years, Kuroko could feel tears prickle at the corners of his eyes.

_That gentle voice.._

_That all too familiar scent.._

". . . . . . . "

"Tetsuya. Please.." the voice pleaded, and now Kuroko simply couldn't hold it anymore. His chest strained, his breathing was heavy, his eyes were prickling, he felt dizzy, but above all, his heart ached. It was too much. It had already took all of his self-control and determination to come here; he had steeled his heart and prepared his feelings for all that might happen today..

But not this.

No, no, not this. He wasn't ready.

He can't-

"I.. I.." the shadow player stammered, his hands and shoulders now shaking, still determined to not let a single tear escape. _But it's so hard…_

"Hey. Please.." the voice begged, and Kuroko could feel fingers reaching out for him, nearly touching the skin of his wrist. The young man panicked; his eyes widened and his heart raced.

_What should I do?!_

And as those fingers nearly closed around his wrist, Kuroko ran for it.

Kuroko ran, as far as he could, as fast as his legs could manage, not caring where he went. The only thing he knew was that he had to go, he had to make as much distance as possible, he had to—

"Oi!"

But in a matter of seconds, Kuroko felt those familiar strong arms hold him from behind. It was no surprise, with all that power, agility and speed, all stuffed up inside that tall and lean body that the Kiseki no Sedai member could easily catch up with the ever-so small, weak, fragile and slow Kuroko Tetsuya. The embrace felt so warm, so loving, so comforting, so honest…

"Tetsu, I'm sorry," the gently voice whispered right in his ear, and that was the last straw for the blunette. It brings back memories, so so many memories. Time had never succeeded to bury those beautiful but painful memories, and even though four years have passed, Kuroko's feelings still had stayed the same, after all this time.

And finally, Kuroko cried.

"A-ao-" Kuroko choked, struggling to talk; he wanted to let him know what hell he had been through ever since he left, he wanted him to know how lonely and empty he had felt all these years, he wanted him to know how much he still loved him. Aomine Daiki was and always will be his only true love, no matter how wrong society would think their love is. Kuroko Tetsuya had never loved anyone as he loved his Ace, and he knew it will never change.

_Aomine.._

_I missed you.. So so much.._

"T-tetsu… Don't cry, please.." Aomine begged as he held his ex-lover tight, not flinching as Kuroko turned into the embrace and cried onto his chest. Aomine knew how it must've hurt. He knew he shouldn't have even told Kuroko about today, but he also knew that it'd be more painful if Kuroko had found out by himself.

* * *

_"What is this, Aomine-kun?" Kuroko mumbled as he stared at the wedding invitation in his hand, his face unreadable, his hand trembling._

_Aomine's heart clenched._

_It hurt to see Kuroko like this; he knew how tortured the shadow must've feel right now; but he didn't have a choice._

_The two of them knew about this from the start; they knew that even though it was true love they were feeling; they couldn't do this forever. They both had responsibilities to their family and they had to put their own needs aside._

_"You don't have to come," Aomine stated, "I just.. I just wanted to let you know firsthand."_

_". . . . . . . . "_

Please, please Tetsu, please say something,_ Aomine begged in his mind, not able to handle the emotional pressure. He knew all too well how Kuroko is; the more calm he looks, the heavier his emotions really are._

_Slowly, Aomine leaned in and stared at Kuroko, who was stubbornly still staring at the invitation as if it were from an alien. His eyes were slowly watering and it didn't go unnoticed by the dark-skinned pro-basketball player._

_"Hey," he whispered, reaching out to touch the younger one's cheek to soothe him, but Kuroko jerked away as if he had been stung, hand half-raised, ready to slap away the dark one's hand. His eyes were wide and confused; emotions were wildly swarming and the blunette simply couldn't gather his thoughts together._

_"Tetsu, wha-"_

_"I- Excuse me, Aomine-kun."_

_And Kuroko bolted out of the door._

* * *

"Tetsu.. Tetsu, shh.. I'm here, I'm here now, it's alright," he whispered soothingly in the shorter male's ear, stroking the young one's hair. He knew that they both knew his words were empty; it brought back old memories which made everything worse, but he still had to say it. It was better than nothing and he would feel even worse if he didn't try to do anything for the little guy that had once, and is now still, occupying his heart.

"I miss you.." Kuroko finally whispered as his heavy sobs died away, "I couldn't.. On my own.. I didn't know what I should.."

He was talking in slurs. Kuroko was too confused to make proper sentences; there was just so much he had to say, too much he had to express. The feeling was overwhelming and he held onto the taller body tighter, as tight as he could, his heart wishing over and over that time would freeze and let them hug each other forever, here in this secluded beautiful place where nobody noticed as his brain was still thinking; how could I express my undying love for him?

"I know, I understand, I'm sorry," Aomine hushed him, letting his gentle and caring side take over, just for this one last time.

He felt guilty; responsible. It was Aomine who took away the innocent Kuroko and replaced it with a grieving and halfway maturing personality inside a pokerface shell. While all this time, for Aomine's sake, the shorter one had always been patient and understanding, always being able to show his innocent love through his pokerface actions; but it was Aomine who taught Kuroko the harsh realities of life and love. He was the one that broke him.

He more than just _deserved_ it.

"I'm sorry..." the short blunette suddenly mumbled, "I'm sorry I'm not a girl.." and he buried his head deeper into the dark one's broad chest, not noticing the aghast look on his ex-lover's face.

"Wh… Tetsu…"

"I wish I were the one in that wedding dress. I wish I were the one who walked up on that aisle. I'm sorry, Aomine-kun."

"No, no.. That's not-" and Aomine hugged the fragile body tighter.

Why did Kuroko say such a thing?

Aomine didn't leave him because of what and who he is; Aomine left him because that was the only way the two of them could move on for a better future! He wasn't sure whether a better future would mean a happy one, but hey, that is why he had chosen Momoi.

Her inability to cook can be covered by taking courses; at least she liked children and could take care of them. Aomine knew that Momoi agreed to marry him because of personal reasons also, but it was enough for him. Momoi Satsuki was intelligent, and she knew him better than anyone would, seeing as they had grown up together. Why can't Kuroko understand that?

_But nobody would ever know me better than you, Tetsu._

"Geezus, Tetsu," Aomine sighed, "Don't say that. Girls are only as good as their boobs," he tried to joke, stroking Kuroko's hair, "I chose Satsuki because she was the only woman I could stand."

"Then why."

It came out as a statement, not really as a question. It hit Aomine right where it counts; somewhere very close to home. Aomine isn't as dumb as he looks; he knew what Kuroko meant and he knew that eventhough said shadow already seemed happy with Kise's little sister, Kuroko hadn't been able to erase his image from his head.

"I just wanted you to be happy," Aomine replied, sighing, "Your parents were bugging you about marriage, my parents were too, and-"

"I was happy the way we were," Kuroko cut off quietly, "I do not care about the arguments and fights. I do not care what society would say. Having you was enough," and somehow, that felt like a thousand daggers stabbing to Aomine's heart. It was like opening up and old wound and pouring salt on it.

"Tetsu.. You know we can't.."

"Yes, I do," Kuroko cut him off, "But I don't care."

And Aomine knew he was on the verge of falling in love all over again with his shadow.

_Shit._

"But... I..." the tan male mumbled, trying to find words to make Kuroko understand, words that wont hurt him but will make him just let them both move on with their lives.. But what? Aomine Daiki was never a man that was good with words.

"I'm not yours anymore, Tetsu. I'm Satsuki's now. You have to let me go," Aomine mumbled, and his heart shattered as he felt Kuroko's sudden freeze in his embrace.

_Way to go, Daiki._

He knew that that was the final straw. He knew that with what he said, it had been better to slit Kuroko's throat with a knife and let him bleed to death.

"I understand.." Kuroko whispered, slowly detaching himself from Aomine, backing away and staring right into his lover's dark-blue eyes, the tears still trailing down his small and chubby face. Aomine never expected that his heart would shatter in pieces for the second time just by witnessing the sight.

"Can I hear it one last time?" Kuroko spoke up, tears now slowly escaping from the corner of his round, blue eyes as he stubbornly remained eye-contact. Aomine couldn't stand it. Seeing Kuroko like this only made him want to hold him, stroke his hair and wipe those awful tears away; it hurt even more when Aomine knew that he himself was the cause of all of Kuroko's heart aches.

"I don't know..." Aomine mumbled, forcing himself to not look away. He didn't want to say it. He couldn't say it! It'd hurt the both of them more; it'd make their future more painful and restless!

"Please," Kuroko whispered, stepping forward to hug him, "Last time. Daiki-kun.."

". . . ."

_Should he really?_

But the words felt so hard to be spoken; he had so many doubts..

"Please."

"I.."

"Daiki-kun.."

Aomine hesitated, "Tetsu, I.." and he paused as Kuroko looked up, his puppy eyes sincerely and genuinely begging. He couldn't resist this, but..

"No."

_Forgive me._

"No, I'm sorry, Tetsu, I can't," the taller male replied, and Kuroko froze.

"Wh. . ?" the shadow choked out, on the verge of crying again, and that was when Aomine decided that he should end this before his heart gave in to this person once again. He couldn't risk it. He had his family, his job, his reputation, and now, his wife..

_I never could put you as a number one priority in my life, no matter how much I wanted to._

"I'm sorry, Tetsuya," and with that, Aomine leaned down and planted a soft kiss on Kuroko's lips before he turned around to leave, once again leaving his shadow alone in despair.

_I love you, Kuroko Tetsuya._

_Always have, always will._

* * *

It's been what, two, four years since my last update?

I AM SO SORRY, READERS!

Go ahead and kill me if it'll make you all feel better.

Anyways, ahem, yes. My first Kurobas fic up here :D  
I personally like AoKise better myself, but well, I wanted to write Kuroko with a heartbreak lol

R&R :D


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